If I Showed You My Teardrops
by Ebony Bluebell
Summary: If I showed you my teardrops, would you collect them like rain? Cold Doctor Isabella Swan and happy Doctor Fitch Cooper. They say opposites attract. Bella/Coop. Cullens never came back. 6 years after New Moon. M for Lemon, talk of suicide and actual suicide (no descriptions though). There is also Tourettes syndrome in this. One-Shot


Disclaimer: I don't own Nurse Jackie or Twilight or If I Showed You My Teardrops. I know that Jackie and Coop seem a little out of character, but just go with it. I can take some credit for this story: The plot line, Josh/Joshie (Bella's twin) and Joshua (the four year old)

* * *

"Swan!" A familiar voice called me. I turned on the spot, and glared at the woman in front of me.

"What?" I asked, frustrated.

"New doctor. Just met him. He insists on being called 'Coop'. Thought I should warn you." She told me. I nodded before walking into my office.

I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Isabella Swan. I work in a hospital. I am twenty-five years old, and I am the best (and coldest) doctor in this hospital.

I grew up in Arizona with my twin brother, and then, when we were 17, we moved to Forks, to live with my father. I had a family there. My boyfriend, his siblings and his mother and father. They all embraced me as one of them.

When they left, I graduated, and moved to New-York. I went into a dark place when they left, and when I got out, I managed to isolate myself from everyone else. I became cold.

You must be wondering about my twin. He is dead. When we were in university, about three years ago, he died. No one except me knows what killed him. I blame myself. I could have stopped him going down the stairs. I can also blame his illness, but in all reality, it's my fault.

I needed to fill out this form. I had just lost a patient. And she died from the same thing that nearly killed me when I was 17.

**Name:** Annabelle White

**Age:** 17

**Cause of death:** Hit by car, sliding on ice.

**Time of death:** 3:17pm

I left my office, ready to me the new doc. I'm always introduced to the new ones. They hope that I'll warm up. No chance. I heard the new voice, and followed it around the corner. He was talking with Jackie.

"Newbie. What is your name?" I asked, coming up behind him. He turned, and I caught sight of his face. Oh shit.

"Doctor Fitch Cooper. Call me Coop." He said, a big grin on his face, "Who are you?"

"Doctor Fitch Cooper, I am Isabella Swan. You call me Doctor Swan and nothing else. Do that, stay out of my way, and we will get along just fine." With that I walked off. I heard him turn to Jackie.

"What did I do?" He asked, his voice still annoyingly cheerful.

"She says that to everyone. The only time anyone speaks to her is when she starts the conversation, or its work related. And even then she keeps it short. You will learn quick." She told him.

* * *

A few months after this he really started having a real impact on me. It started when I yelled at him.

"What part of stay out of my way didn't you understand?" I snapped. For months he had constantly trying to talk to me, no matter what anyone tells him. He looked like Carlisle Cullen would with black hair and blue eyes, and acted like a human Emmett Cullen. I tried avoiding him for these reasons, and my bad days were becoming more and more frequent.

"I'm just trying to be nice!" He claimed. He really didn't understand.

"Yes, try that one when we are outside of work!" I cried, frustrated. It was then that he shocked me. He grabbed on to my boob, "Doctor Cooper, don't touch me."

"Oh crap! Fuck! I'm so sorry!" He cried, pulling his hand back.

"What the fuck?" I asked, half shocked, half ready to hit him.

"No, no, it's not my fault. When I get nervous or stressed, I act out on a inappropriate sexual touch." He explained, panicking.

"Like Torrettes." I finished for him. He nodded, and I sighed, "Fine."

"I am really sorry." He apologized again.

"I can't. I've gotta go." I muttered, loud enough for him to hear, before, walking away, quickly. I tried my hardest to keep my guard up until my shift ended, and I was in my car. It was then I cried. While I was crying I caught sight of Cooper leaving the building, and I quickly started the engine, and drove away.

* * *

Brilliant. I had a day off, and I end up in hospital anyway. And they are keeping me in. Why? Because they reckon I need to be watched because I almost died. No. Correction: I attempted suicide but failed. But I was surprised to find out that I had two visitors. I told Jackie to send them in, and I was shocked.

"Bella? Thank God you're alive!" He cried. His golden eyes found mine, and we kept eye contact for a second before I looked at the other vampire.

"What the hell were you thinking?" The pixie cried.

"What the hell were you thinking when you left me?" I asked. Alice's eyes widened, and she looked at me in shock.

"We just listened to Edward, and what he said." Alice told me, walking towards me, her eyes sad.

"Yeah, and if Edward told Josh that he could never talk to me again, Josh would tell him to go fuck himself. Your point?"

"Bella!" Alice cried in shock.

"Alice!" I copied. I could see out of the corner of my eye, the other vampire laughing at me. I turned my glare on him. He stopped immediately.

"Bella, we miss you," The man told me softly, "and Josh."

I looked at the man, "Carlisle, Josh died three years ago."

His eyes widened, "How?"

"He fell down the stairs. I could have stopped it, and I didn't. I let him die." I was then I admitted my guilt over his death. I looked at the pair of worried vampires, and my cold filter started working again.

"Please leave." I told them, looking back down. I waited for the door to open and close again before I looked back up. I saw them walk away, through the window. A single tear slipped down my cheek, and I rested against the cold wall. I closed my eyes, and finally broke like I should have done last year, when I lost everything.

* * *

_The sound of the harsh slap echoed around the empty corridor. My twin gasped, and pulled his hand back._

_"I'm so sorry Izzy!" He cried, taking four steps back._

_"It's okay, Joshie." I took a step forward, and he took a step back, and he slipped on a toy car (teen mom lived on campus), going backwards, and falling down the stairs. I stood in shook, and watched him hit the bottom. I ran down the stairs, and I knew he had broken bones. He looked at me, and smiled._

_"I love you. I'm so sorry." A single tear rolled down his face, and I brushed it away. I watched the light in his eyes die, and his blue eyes became empty._

* * *

I sat up in bed, the nightmare still stuck in my mind. A knock at my hospital room door got my attention. I looked at it, and Doctor Cooper stood in the doorway.

"Bad dream?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, but it's nothing." I lied.

"Don't lie to me. What happened?" He asked, walking over, and sitting on the edge on the bed, taking my hand into his own. I looked at him, and actually looked really serious for once.

"I... I watched my brothers death again. My twin brother." I didn't even know if I was making sense.

"What happened?" He asked, curious as ever.

"He fell down the stairs, and I could have stopped it. I could have grabbed onto him, and saved him. And if I fell with him, I would have died too." The tears were rolling now.

"It's not your fault." He told me.

"Just before he fell, he was apologizing. Apologizing for being ill."

"What was wrong with him?"

"Tourettes. Bad case of tourettes. He'd apologize for his tics. And the worse they were, the more he'd apologize. He apologized before he died too. I ran down those stairs, and a part of me knew he wouldn't be okay. I remember his blue eyes, looking into mine as he died."

* * *

**Cooper POV**

She finished her little paragraph, and I really felt sorry for her.

"Cooper, thank you. I really needed to tell someone about him, and you were the lucky guy. I think I need to get some rest, though. I need to try and convince the doc to release me, and I need energy for that."

I chuckled, and stood up, "If you ever need to talk, let me know." I walked to the doorway, and before I left, she spoke the beginning of a poem.

"_If I showed you my teardrops,_  
_Would you collect them like rain?_  
_Store them in jars,_  
_That are labelled with Pain._"

* * *

**Bella POV**

When I went back to actually working a week later, I avoided Cooper more than usual. I let him have a glimpse into my heart, and now he is paying for it. There was more than that though. If anyone asked why, that's what I would tell them. But the truth is, I was falling in love with him. The happy man was weaving his way in, and o didn't like it.

"Hey, you. You've been avoiding me. What did I do?" And he has found me. Great.

"Nothing, Doctor Cooper. It just I need more time to really figure out whether I'm gonna tell you to forget that night ever happened, or if I'm just gonna give in, and tell you everything."

"Tell me everything, Swan." He told me with a cheeky grin. I glared at him.

"What part of 'call me Doctor Swan and nothing else' didn't you understand?" I asked.

"And what part of 'call me Coop' didn't you understand?" He threw back.

"Good shot but you missed." I told him, using the phrase that I hadn't used in years.

"What?" He asked, as I walked away, laughing at him.

* * *

**Cooper POV**

I can't believe it. I actually did it. I asked her out for coffee. And now we are sat here, waiting for the coffee.

"Cooper... are you able to listen to my story. I think I'm ready to admit to it." She asked just after our drinks had turned up. I nodded.

"Here I go. My name is Isabella Marie Swan, and I came into the world knowing I wasn't alone. Josh, my twin brother, was there with me.

When we were born, he was fine, and I was fine. We had two parents, Charlie and Renée, and a small life. When we were two, my mother took us away. At the age of five, by brother developed his famous tic of tapping his hand and foot, creating a rhythm. Mom got him checked out, and that was it. A life time of medication and pain for him, while I was fine. I tried to keep him happy, but he just wanted to be normal." She took a deep breath, and wiped her tears away. I took her hand into mine, as she continued.

"When we were seventeen, we went to live with dad. It was then I really lived. We had friends, I dated a boy my father never approved of, almost got killed twice, and suffered my first heartbreak. All in less than a year. My first heartbreak was worse than I expected it to be. He left me, alone, in the forest, after telling me that he never loved me, His family all hated me, and were just playing his game, and that my best friend was never my friend. He ran off, and I almost died out there. If I didn't have my twin in that first week, I would have killed myself. Dad died, three days after the family left, and it was just my twin and I, as mom gave up." The tears we falling freely now, and she had looked up, and was looking me directly in the eye.

"I did very stupid things. I jumped off cliffs, drank alcohol, cried... a lot, and rode motorcycles. Then I graduated with my twin, and we both went to medical college, and when he died, I went into an even darker place. I tried killing myself multiple times, until I was confined to a hospital room, for a month, before they let me out, and people in. And after that, I was still stuck there for another two weeks.

That was three years ago. Cooper, I hardened up. Only you have ever seen me cry. Only you. Because my father and my twin is dead. So you are the only one."

I stared at her in shock. How wasn't she dead, yet? She gazed out the window, her face a mask of pain. I followed her eyes to two godlike people. One with blonde hair, and looking about twenty-three and the other one, was a girl that looked very pixie like, and about eighteen.

"_Would you follow their tracks,_  
_From my eyes down my cheeks?_  
_As they write all the stories,_  
_I'm too scared to speak._" She spoke the next words of the poem. I looked at her, and moved to sit next to her. I wiped away her tears, but they kept falling.

* * *

It was official. I was in love with Isabella Swan. When I dropped her home, she kissed my cheek. She kissed a part of my body, so when I got into work, I was extra happy.

"Did you lose your virginity last night, or something?" Jackie asked, walking past.

"No, lost that a few years back!" I admitted, not even caring. She made a face and walked off. I sighed. I walked through the corridors, smiling at everyone, and I found the cutest sight on the children's ward. Doctor Swan was sat on a hospital bed, talking with a four year old boy. She wasn't talking, though. She was signing to him.

_My name is Bella. What is yours? _She signed

_Joshua. How are you today, Miss Bella? _He signed back.

_Fine, thank you. How are you? _

_My head hurts, and I'm kinda tired._

_Okay. Get some rest. Doctors orders. _She signed, with a cheeky grin. She got off the bed, and walked past me, "Come with me."

I followed her, and she went into her office. I followed, and she handed a envelope to me.

"When I tell you to open it, you open it. Not until then." It was a order. She dismissed me coldly, and I went, pocketing it.

* * *

She invited me to dinner at her place, claiming she was lonely. I agreed, being the hopeful man that I am. We ate dinner, watched a few movies and just before I left, she whispered the next part of the poem in my ear.

"_Would you stop them with kisses?_  
_Bring their flow to a halt._  
_As you teach me that pain,_  
_Isn't always my fault._"

With those words she pulled back, and kissed me. Our lips met, and fireworks exploded inside of me. When she pulled back, she told me goodnight, and with that, she was gone.

* * *

Our relationship went from there. I was still the childlike man, and she was the cold doctor. But, she became my everything. It was months before we did anything but kissing, and hand holding, but I knew she hadn't dated since the guy who left her in the forest.

"I think I'm ready to go to the next level." She told me, punctuating each word with a kiss. Her hands found my shirt buttons, and began undoing them, as she kissed me. Once they were all undone, my shirt fell to the floor, and I scooped her up, and carried her up to her bedroom, our clothes disappearing on the way. Once she was completely naked, I had a chance to worship her body with my mouth. I kissed my way down her body, and down to her sweet pussy. I kissed my way up, and requesting permission before slipping a finger into her tight wet cunt. She immediately moaned as I pumped a finger in and out of her, before entering a second. Her moans were getting shorter and louder and she was starting to tighten around my fingers. I withdrew my fingers, and sucked them clean from her juices.

"You taste delicious, Isabella." I whispered, before removing my boxers, and positioning myself at her wet entrance. I quickly pushed in, breaking her barrier, and she moaned out in pain or pleasure, I'm not sure.

"Give me a moment," She told me. I held still for her, kissing along her jaw. Her hips moved from under me.

"Okay?" I asked. She nodded, and that was when I moved within her. It felt so natural to be inside her, and I never felt like that with anyone. Our moans were in unison, and soon she was begging me to go faster. I thrust into her faster, giving her what she wanted. Her tight pussy started clenching around me.

"Cum for me, Isabella." I growled. She came screaming my name, and I followed seconds after. I pulled out of her, and pulled her onto me, and pulling the sheets up, to keep her warm.

Just before we drifted off to sleep, she whispered another part of the poem.

"Would you hold my face gently,  
As you dry both my eyes?  
And whisper the words,  
"_You're too precious to cry"._"

* * *

We had been together for about nine months now. I hadn't received the rest of the poem yet, but I wanted to hear it, so I could finish my own version for her. I wasn't ready for the text message, saying 'Open It.'

I opened the letter and read it once. And I read it again. And again. A tear slipped down my face as I read it for the fourth time. The ringing of the phone didn't register in my mind, as the world crumpled around me, and I hit the floor.

* * *

_Cooper,_  
_If you are reading this, I am dead. I've killed myself. I am so sorry, but I couldn't handle it anymore. I love you. More than I loved Edward. Just not enough to stay with you. Fitch, I couldn't stay in this world anymore. No one will rescue me this time. And it's not your fault._  
_I love you_  
_Isabella xxxx_

* * *

At her funeral, a family of godlike people sat in the back row. I recognised the blonde man and the pixie, but the rest, I would find out later. I had to stand and read the poem I rewrote. I found the full poem in her home, and not it was time. I took it out, and went to the front.

"If you showed me your teardrops,  
I would collect them like rain,  
Store them in jars,  
That are labelled with "Pain",  
I would follow their tracks,  
From your eyes down your cheeks,  
As they write all the stories,  
You're too scared to speak,  
I would stop them with kisses,  
Bring their flow to a halt,  
As I teach you that pain,  
Isn't always your fault,  
I would hold your face gently,  
As I dry both your eyes,  
And whisper the words,  
"You're too precious to cry",  
If you showed me your teardrops,  
I would show you my own,  
And you'd learn though we're lonely,  
We're never alone.

Isabella Swan was a great person. I loved her, more than I loved anyone, but she wasn't happy. I hope she is happy now."

I went back to my seat, and I barely listened to the rest of the ceremony. I watched them put her to rest, and I watched the stone placed over her final resting place.

_Isabella Swan_  
_1987-2015_  
_If I showed you my teardrops,_  
_Would you collect them like rain?_

* * *

**_Please Review. Just for me. Good or bad, just review._**


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